2 Months In to the Year of Yes: Lessons So Far
So I definitely thought that I would enter into the Year of Yes and my whole entire life would change.
Just like I thought moving from Indiana to California would make me a whole different person.
Just like anytime I have left a relationship or job or anything else in my external environment, I was convinced that it would make me a different human being.
But I am still me. And that is a good thing.
For so long in my life I have been running away from my truest self. Hiding in the shadows, wearing the “fixer” skill like a badge of honor. Well, spoiler alert, it isn’t.
All it is, or has been for me anyway, is a big fat distraction. A distraction from my truest self shouting and pleading with me to listen, to look, to love. An invitation from my highest self, and maybe my cutie lil spirit guides, to immerse myself in myself and fully integrate all aspects of my soul into this life form.
So when reading The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes, I was swept up in her story and how as soon as she decided to say yes to all that scared her, her life radically changed. However, I think while I was reading I interpreted this radical change as her external environment, the speeches she gave, the people she met. And in doing this, I missed the actual, and most truest, point of them all. SHE changed. Her relationship with herself changed. Her belief in herself changed. She finally gave herself permission to step out of the shadows, and she loved what she saw.
And I was thinking in the shower just now “Man, I haven’t done my Year of Yes blog in awhile, I don’t ever really follow through. Maybe I haven’t done it because not much has changed.” And yet, when you peel back the layers, you actually see how much has changed. Maybe I haven’t done these huge extravagant things, maybe I haven’t faced all my fears. But here are a few things I HAVE done:
Spoke in front of my entire company
Drove my car, went to the store, and stood in lines multiple times without panicking
Sat in a sauna for 45 minutes even though my NS wanted to see it as danger
Committed to, and delivered, a full month of somatic tools online to support others on their journey with stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and panic
Committed to, and launched, my very first virtual event (which scares the shit out of me but it excites me more than anything else) - if you’re reading and are interested, you can find the info in my TikTok bio (March 29th at 12PM EST!)
Offered two coaching spots in a program with me that will be greatly reduced in length and price, but allows me to practice the thing I have been thinking about for so long now
Placed boundaries with my loved ones to reprioritize myself (if you know me you know I am always trying to help and fix and teach people everything and I am finally putting that time back into myself, because I am the only one who can)
Reconnected with my spirit guides/angels/Uni and feel so incredibly abundant
Got my camera out and interviewed my mom for my Legacy Timecapsule project (with a few more interviews planned)
Fell back in love with myself (this month is Main Character March) and I am doing lots of intentional actions to be myself in full color, even if it is uncomfortable
So guess what? Just like moving to another city, or getting another job, or starting a new relationship, I am still me. The beautiful thing is, I am really starting to like myself. And with this, I am getting really excited about where I am headed. I finally really believe in myself and am willing to be uncomfortable to align with my highest self, and that might be the biggest takeaway so far. I am worth being uncomfortable for so I can live a life that truly feels good. And I am worth my own time, dedication, effort, resources, and love.
I hope you can find something that reminds you of these things, and that you know how worthy you are of an unconditionally loving relationship with yourself. There is truly nothing like it.